The Bully (Child and Adult Behavior) Bullying is an aggressive and hurtful action or comment of one person toward another. The Second Step is a program designed to teach elementary school students social and emotional skills to avoid violence and bullying. One of their experts said, “Gossip is considered relational bullying, and children become more adept at it as they grow older,” by Wendy Owen.1 Generally, people view bullying as a child’s problem. However, when we understand that gossip is a form of this action, then adults are at fault as well. Adults are the great offenders when spreading information about someone without giving consideration to the damage they can do to someone’s life. Children gossip and can find a feeling of security among their friends when they join in whispering about a peer. It is easy to correct the actions of a bully when you see a child taunting another youngster, but dealing with whispers and snickers of gossip is difficult to address. With the increase of children being emotionally and sometimes physically hurt by bullying, many schools throughout the country have adopted a no-tolerance level for this behavior. Several school districts in Oregon have a Positive Behavior Support program in place, which interweaves into the curriculum helpful emotional and social skills. This program teaches empathy, impulse control, anger management and problem solving. Children learn respect for each other’s race, religion, financial status, physical abilities, and property. According to the Oregonian’s article, principals and teachers are reporting a marked decrease in bullying since instigating a positive behavior program. Children feel more secure knowing they are respected for who they are. Gossiping is an elusive and difficult conduct to control. The Bible lists a number of sins in 2 Corinthians 12:20 and gossip is included. Adults often commit this sin without realizing that they are taking on the role of a bully. Are we instructing our children about the harm of gossip, even if it seems like harmless whispers and snickers? Is our conduct a good example for our children, or are we indulging in this activity? Parents and school teachers have a responsibility to teach children to treat each other as they would want to be treated. Our Lord gave us these instructions in Matthew 7:12, “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them….” We will go a long way in teaching children correct behavior if we live by the words of Jesus. This groundwork is foundational for them to grow into adulthood with the knowledge and skills to treat others with kindness. Whether we are adults or children, let us obey the Lord’s teaching and eradicate the conduct of a bully. ©Barbara Lighthizer 2006 1"Instilling A Sense of Empathy," The Oregonian newspaper, Southwest Weekly section, June 1, 2006.